O...K...
linksano
ranguvar42
For some odd reason I can't access the homepage. I keep getting a "Page Not Found:" message. However, I can access everywhere else.

So what I did was bookmark my Page, Das-Sporking, and my Friends Page, so at least I can see that much.

EDIT: And it's working again. :P

I Have Succumbed to the Madness.
linksano
ranguvar42
I'm now on Twitter.

Granted, the only reason I joined was so I could apply for Amtrak's Residency For Writers

But, if any of my friends on here are in the Twitter 'Verse, feel free to follow me.

I Was So Scared...
linksano
ranguvar42
As I've posted on here before, my mom and I...don't have the best relationship. She's changed a lot, unfortunately for the worse, and it's really sad. She still can and does do nice things for me, but there's still a rift between us.

Well, Monday we got into an argument, which is becoming a normal occurrence. I'd forgotten to rinse off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, which is something I should remember, but sometimes don't. I'll admit that.

Mom starts screaming at me to get out of the house, and I try to calm her down. She starts pinching my arms, and I bat her hands away, again simply trying to get her to calm down.

That's when she starts strangling me.  I manage to get her hands away from my throat(thank God I'm stronger than her) , then I SHOVE her out of the way and run to my room, slamming the door in her face, nearly hyperventilating from terror. Mom's on the other side of the door, crying as she tries to apologize. She made my Dad come home from work early.

Later she tells me "I looked it up, and apparently people with MS can be prone to violent mood swings." Which, you know, completely justifies her TRYING TO STRANGLE HER OWN DAUGHTER OVER DIRTY DISHES.

I'm really worried now. What if I set her off again? I've got nowhere to go-I don't know if my grandparents would believe me, and I've got no friends that live nearby. My brother's out, because there's no place for me to sleep.

I desperately need to find a job and an apartment, in that order. Then maybe I can finally be free of the person my mother has become.

My Writing Resolution!
linksano
ranguvar42
I just have to hope I keep them.
Tags: ,

New Story!
linksano
ranguvar42
I've posted a new story to my Blog!

Go read it!

I've Started A Blog!
linksano
ranguvar42
Thanks to Kermit for giving me the metaphorical kick in the pants I needed.

The Writing Fool

Give it a look!

Something Nice For A Change
linksano
ranguvar42
After two posts in a row of negative stuff, I need something positive.


I Give Up.
linksano
ranguvar42
I will never be able to hold a mature conversation with my mother without it deteriorating into a fight. I got into it with her again today, and I won't lie and say it wasn't over something stupid, because it was. I admit that. But then I made the mistake of being honest with her. I confessed that I didn't like her as much as I used to.

And it's true. She's changed so much-become bitter and unlikable. I know she wasn't always like this. She used to be a lot of fun, and while I've always been Daddy's Girl, I loved and respected her as well. But over the years, I've seen her change into a bitter woman that I can't stand being around for a long period of time.

She has no concept of what it means to have a family and do things for them. My Dad gets along very well with his brother and sisters and my grandparents. My mom barely gets along with her sister, her Dad died when she was young, and her Mom wasn't a very good parent. So she doesn't understand doing something nice for family. To give a specific example-my Aunts and Uncle have decided to buy my grandmother an IPad. Granted, it's kind of a dumb idea because my grandparents are about as tech-savvy as my dogs(trying to explain Facebook to my grandpa is like trying to explain Monet to a monkey), but it's a nice gesture. My Dad's share for the Ipad is $90. A bit much, but he's used my grandma's car rent-free for nearly a year, and in the long run, it's a fair trade.

Mom went ballistic. Apparently, Christmas has been ruined. We can't have a fancy dinner(even though my Dad's such a good cook that he could make even a cheap cut of meat good), she and Dad can't exchange presents(which they haven't done for years  so why she's mad I don't know), and so on and so forth. To be fair, both Dad and I are convinced she's got S.A.D. She likes the "idea" of Christmas, but nothing else.

I still have yet to learn that "Tell me how you really feel" is a trap when it comes out of her mouth. Because when I do, it inevitably blows up in my face.

Mother Dearest
linksano
ranguvar42
I no longer have any respect for my mother. I know that's most likely a horrible thing to say, but it's the God's honest truth. I can't exactly pinpoint when she lost my respect, but I do know why she lost it. It's because she has turned into a thoroughly unlikable person. She is constantly nagging my Dad, gets upset when things don't go exactly how she wants, and flies into a temper at any imagined slight.

She does nice things for me, and yes, I do appreciate that, but it would be even nicer if I could actually talk to her about what's bothering me without her twisting my words around to make it seem like I'm insulting and criticizing her. Because every time I try to hold a conversation with her, she immediately goes on the defensive and gets all snippy and angry because I'm telling her how I really feel. Which she doesn't want. She wants for me to insist that everything is fine and dandy.

I really wish I could find a job so I could afford to move out.

Been Wanting To Post This For A While
linksano
ranguvar42


Even though I never really got into video games(being epileptic and all, I get majorly bad migraines from a lot of them) I still love the more 'fringe' things. I've been a fan of science fiction and fantasy books since I learned to read, and the first comic books I ever read were the EC Tales From the Crypt and such. I played MYST Wolfenstein 3D and the original SIMS in class(anyone old enough to remember that?) and I was constantly checking Asimov, Bradbury, King, and other writers like that out of the library.

I'd rather watch sci fi than chick flicks, and I own  complete collections of Poe and Lovecraft, the entire Sandman Series(and I want Overture so bad!), a beautifully illustrated edition of Wind in the Willows, and am planning on buying 'Cabinet of Curiosities' for Christmas.

I am a Browncoat, a Whovian, a Dearie, a MSTie, a Oncer, and a Hoopy Frood who knows where her towel is. I know the Ultimate Answer is 42, and I won;t panic.

In short, I'm a Geek, and proud of it.

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